… For we were so utterly, unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death so that we would rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He who rescued us from so deadly a peril will continue to rescue us; on him we have set our hope that he will rescue us again, as you also join in helping us by your prayers, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Three weeks ago, we got this:

2014-01-04 20.33.12

Yesterday, we found out that our baby does not have a heartbeat.

Our hearts have been crushed to a million pieces, and the pain feels unbearable.

And so I’m writing this to ask for prayer.

Prayer unites us with the comfort of Jesus, the one well acquainted with grief, giving way to peace.  Peace for ourselves, and peace for others. But it’s something we can not do alone.

I do not understand why prayer did not make my baby live. But I do know that where suffering abounds, Jesus is present. And as my prayers feel as lifeless as the baby still buried deep inside me, I am asking for those with able hearts to pray for us.

And one day, we hope to do the same for you.


  1. Luke says

    Rebecca, Christy and I grieved to receive this news. As ones who have lost as well in different circumstances, we have a sense of what you and Tom feel right now, and you are entirely right that Jesus is present. Even in grief, your heart attitude inspires me.

    One thing that helped me through losing Jordan was knowing that others were willing to pray for peace and comfort during the time of loss. I found great comfort when I read what Martin Luther shared with a friend when the Luthers’ little daughter Magdalena died: “I believe the report has reached you that my dearest daughter Magdalena has been reborn into Christ’s eternal kingdom. I and my wife should joyfully give thanks for such a felicitous departure and blessed end by which Magdalena escaped the power of the flesh…yet the force of our natural love is so great that we are unable to do this without crying and grieving in our hearts, or even without experiencing death ourselves. The features, the words and the movements of the living and dying daughter remain deeply engraved in our hearts. Even the death of Christ… is unable to take this all away as it should. So could you, therefore, give thanks to God in our stead?”

    May you continue to know God’s peace in spite of the circumstances, and may to walk each step knowing that the hand that holds you and Tom has a a nail hole through it.

  2. says

    We love you guys so much and are so heartbroken for you. I hate that you have to endure so much heartache and pain through all of this, but we are still hoping for you even when hope seems so far out of reach. You’ve had and will continue to have our prayer and support. Love and prayers!!

  3. Elise @ Sunday Charm says

    Rebecca, I am so sorry. Joel and I don’t understand why this happened to you two, but we are standing with you in prayer.

  4. JoshJessica Brown says

    Sweet rebecca my heart grieves with you and Tom for your sweet baby. I pray The Lord gives you peace and comfort to your empty aching heart. A verse I was remembering I clung to during our trials was We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. (Psalm 33:20-22 NIV). I am so sorry you are having to go through this journey. I know one thing The Lord meets us in our deepest sorrow. I would always sing that song beauty for ashes a garment of praise for my heaviness. We love you both dearly and of you need anything please don’t hesitate to contact us. We are here for you!

  5. Nikki Zimmerman says

    Rebecca, as I search for words to express our sadness upon hearing this news, they all fall short of anything worth offering to you and to Tom. Just know we are shaken and saddened, searching God for answers and submitting prayers on your behalf. We love you guys.

  6. JoAnn Cheek says

    Oh Rebecca, my heart is so grieved with yours. I had rejoiced so
    when Carah shared with me your precious news of new life. I am praying
    for you my friend and grieving with you, your great loss.

    My mom has never been a writer of poetry, but God gave her these words to
    put in a poem for me after I experienced a heart breaking miscarriage.
    It was a great comfort to me, and in the years of empty arms that
    followed, I would often look up to the stars at night and ask Jesus to
    hold my sweet baby for me. God has given me beauty for ashes and has
    wrapped those hard memories with beautiful cherished ones now and
    brought healing to my wounded heart. But my cheeks are streamed with
    tears as I pray for you now and the Lord touches that place in my heart
    where I went through that great loss, that I might share in yours with
    you now and find the words to pray.

    With much love,
    JoAnn Cheek

    Oh, Precious Child, That You Should Know

    To the Father through Jesus, I did go
    Asking to be in His will, for I know
    That the Father knows better than we what is right
    For you, precious child, I petitioned God’s best
    And He bid me for one more night
    To be humbled in prayer with fasting

    Your beautiful life, clothed in a body of clay
    Into earthly arms God did not lay
    He called you instead to but briefly touch us
    And hastened you into His presence
    It is His perfect will that you not be here with us
    But, there in His presence, for time everlasting

    Oh, Precious child that you should know
    We shall nurture the blessings given us
    Through your brief presence in our lives
    Allow God to mature, bring fruitfulness
    Through your life He will be glorified

    If crowns be reward for blessing others
    By a life which is yielded to God,
    Many crowns you will have to lay at His feet
    For through your life were many miracles begun

    We did not have the privilege to nurture you
    And hold you in our arms
    For reasons known to God alone
    At His discretion to disclose
    He gives but glimpses of understanding
    As the mysteries of your life unfold
    Of His great love, His grace, His mercy
    With words cannot be told
    Not for our arms my precious child
    You’re for His arms to hold

    Though time may have us now apart
    The day will come when we, like you
    Will be with Him, perfected, complete
    We will also be with you
    So until He calls us to come
    And we from this earth depart
    We’ll hold you always, precious one
    We’ll hold you in our heart


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